About Sex Podcast with Angela Skurtu

 

Sex Addiction isn't real. Sex is real. Porn is real. Some other words that are real include diversity, fetus, vulnerable, science-based, evidence-based, entitlement, and transgender. Yes, transgendered people are real. This week it seems the Trump administration decided that these seven words don’t exist and should not be used by the CDC. Whether or not this ban is real, political leaders have been doing this as long as we have had scientific research.

Misinformation about reality, or the censoring of reality, can be harmful. Myths about sex can make it difficult for people to feel normal in their sexuality. If they are told that their biological urges are sinful or weird, they can feel a split between sex and themselves. They can see sex as something outside the normal human experience or even outside of their own control. If we as humans label something as uncontrollable, then we may fail to even try to have control over it.

Sex addiction is not a real addiction listed in the most recent edition of the DSM, the bible of mental health diagnosis. These individual’s struggles are a failure of logic brought on by shameful views of their own thoughts, feelings, and beliefs. People who self-label as sex addicts have the same amount of sex as people who do not. People who claim to have this addiction feel the need to hold themselves to a standard beyond the normal human condition. They feel amorous, they feel love, they feel horny, and yet they deny these feelings and push them down to hide and deny their own sexuality. They not only feel uncomfortable just talking about sex in a social setting, but can sometimes feel uncomfortable even discussing these topics with their sexual partners. They can literally be having sex with their partner and feel super uncomfortable just discussing birth control and condom usage.

Our guest today is clinical psychologist Dr. David J. Ley, Ph.D. and the author of the books Ethical Porn for Dicks: A Man’s Guide to Responsible Viewing Pleasure, The Myth of Sex Addiction and Insatiable Wives. I also just found out he has a black belt in Brazilian Jiu Jitsu. What the hell? That's awesome. To me, he sounds like the Jason Bourne of the clinical psychology world, saving people from myths and misinformation about sex and relationships. Our discussion with him covers the myths of sex addiction, porn, the CDC’s list of banned words, and so much more.

 

David J. Ley PhD (@DrDavidLey) on Twitter

 

About Us:

Angela Skurtu is a licensed marriage and family therapist and an AASECT certified sex therapist. She is a published author, with her second book releasing in February.

About Sex now livestreams episodes on Facebook a week before the podcast episodes come out. Check us out at our new YouTube Channel. // Visit us at: www.aboutsexpodcast.com // Get marriage therapy and sex therapy in the St Louis area with Angela Skurtu LMFT M.Ed., a Licensed Marriage and Sex therapist at: www.therapistinstlouis.com

Also, we have facebooks and twitters and all that stuff, but if you read this far i seriously doubt you have time to read any more.

Facebook: Angela Skurtu LMFT, M. Ed, AASECT Certified Sex Therapist // Joshua Skurtu

The Republican party decided this year that they are okay with pedophiles representing them in the Senate. Roy Moore lost the race yesterday for the Alabama Senate seat by only 1.5%. Many of the people in Alabama that voted for Moore may see pedophiles as the worst of the worst, but they also see Democrats as somehow an even lower form of human life. Ugh, Democrats. Such a dirty thing. It brings to mind words like liberal, social justice, or *gasp* even diversity and inclusion. What depravity this world hath wrought!

 The sitting President of the United States, Donald Trump, even openly supported this accused pedophile for the Alabama Senate race and directed the Republican National Party to send as much funding his way. He wanted to ensure as much as he could that this accused pedophile made it into office, no matter how many children were destroyed in Moore’s wake.

Somehow, in our topsy-turvy world, the Republicans see pedophiles as a crucially important demographic that they don’t want to lose. They will do anything and everything within their will to ensure all those pedophiles stick with the Republican party, so that they don’t to lose those sweet, sweet pedophile votes to another party.

After we discuss Roy Moore and the wonderful pedophile laden dystopia that is the Republican party’s vision for the future, we have a very special guest on to discuss LGBTQIA+ advocacy. Our guest this week is Jaimie Hilemann, a Trans and LGBTQIA+ advocate and educator.  For those that do not know what all those letters mean, they stand for Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Trans, Queer or Questioning, Intersex, Asexual, and plus. The plus is a way to leave it open for inclusion of people that do not fall into these categories. We discuss education, myths about trans people, transitioning, and non-pliments (Compliments that can be insulting or off-putting).

We learned a lot about transgendered individuals and hope you can join us for this week’s episode.

 

About Our Guest:

 

Jaimie Hilemann

After 24 years in the corporate world, from key account sales, sales training, to
sales- management, Jaimie felt the need as a Trans woman to advocate and speak
out for Trans and LGBTQIA+ issues. First volunteering with MTUG (Metro
Trans Umbrella Group), in St. Louis, she eventually became Board President and
still collaborates with MTUG today.
Aware of rapidly changing needs in the Trans community, she began consulting
as a Trans Cultural Competency Educator, including educational and training
consulting under contract with DAP (Diversity Awareness Partnership).
Realizing the need for full-time Trans and LGBTQIA+ focused advocacy, Jaimie
formally founded the Trans Education Service LLC of St. Louis (TES LLC STL)
in order to expand opportunities to educate regarding issues critical to the
community. TES is both a Trans and LGBTQIA+ cultural competency
educational and training consultancy, and a consulting partner for diversity and
inclusion policy, planning and implementation.
Jaimie is a member of WPATH, with GEI (Global Education Initiative), training,
and also a professional member of AASECT, the American Association of
Sexuality Educators, Counselors, and Therapists.

 

 

About Us:

Angela Skurtu is a licensed marriage and family therapist and an AASECT certified sex therapist. She is a published author, with her second book releasing in February.

About Sex now livestreams episodes on Facebook a week before the podcast episodes come out. Check us out at our new YouTube Channel. // Visit us at: www.aboutsexpodcast.com // Get marriage therapy and sex therapy in the St Louis area with Angela Skurtu LMFT M.Ed., a Licensed Marriage and Sex therapist at: www.therapistinstlouis.com

Also, we have facebooks and twitters and all that stuff, but if you read this far i seriously doubt you have time to read any more.

Facebook: Angela Skurtu LMFT, M. Ed, AASECT Certified Sex Therapist // Joshua Skurtu

I have never once seen a bird have sex with a bee, yet when I was a child, sex education heralded this fact all around the country. Birds were banging bees. Bees were banging birds. Adults made it the spearhead of any conversation about discussing sexuality with their children. I took great pains after that to follow bees and birds around to try to observe this marvel of modern sex education. Despite all my tracking, all my days spent climbing trees and watching birds, all I got was splinters. I never once saw a bee even try to land a bird.  As an adult, I think I understand it better now. The adults using this archaic metaphor harbored too much shame about sex to openly discuss it with anyone, much less their own children. We hide sex. We shut down conversations about sexuality. We label clinical terms about sex, such as masturbation or vagina, as taboo or “bad words,” things to never discuss, even around impolite company. We even lie to our own children about our own sex lives in the hopes they will not emulate any bad decisions, but this just means they aren’t able to learn anything from us, including how to avoid any pitfalls or mistakes we made in our own sex lives.

              There once was a day when your good old dad and mom took a little roll in the hay, and amazingly enough so did their parents, your grandparents. Sex is a part of every adult’s life, no matter the age. Most of us grow up shielded from the sex lives of the previous generations, and this isn’t necessarily a bad thing. Your children do not need to know the intimate details of your sex life, but when we hide the fact that we even have sex from the younger generations it teaches them that it is something to hide and be ashamed about in the first place. Sex is a part of normal human biology, just like breathing, eating, defecating, and childbirth.

              Today we discuss aging and sexuality with our guest, sex therapist Angela Schubert. We also cover nursing homes, eating disorders, sexual trauma, and a few other topics.

 

 About our Guest:

 

 

Angela Schubert works at Crossroads Counseling, LLC and is a full time professor and director at Central Methodist University

Angie Schubert has a PhD in Counselor Education and supervision and a Masters
degree in mental health counseling from the University of Missouri St. Louis. She
also received a gender studies certificate in 2015 from University Missouri St.
Louis. And she did her undergraduate work at Illinois College and received a
bachelors degree in psychology. Dr. Schubert directs the clinical counseling
masters program at Central Methodist University and is a private practitioner at
Crossroads Counseling.

Angie served as the state chair for the American Association of sex educators
counselors and therapist from 2007 until 2016. Her passion has always focused on
aging sexual expression in nursing homes and her dissertation looked at the
experiences of older adults who resided in the nursing home and the presence of
aging sexual expression in nursing homes.

About Us:

Angela Skurtu is a licensed marriage and family therapist and an AASECT certified sex therapist. She is a published author, with her second book releasing in February.

We are now livestreaming episodes on youtube a week before the podcast episodes come out. If you just can't wait to listen, the livestream goes out a week before the podcast releases. Check us out at our new YouTube Channel.

Visit us at: www.aboutsexpodcast.com

Get marriage therapy and sex therapy in the St Louis area with Angela Skurtu LMFT M.Ed, a Licensed Marriage and Sex therapist at: www.therapistinstlouis.com

Also, we have facebooks and twitters and all that stuff, but if you read this far i seriously doubt you have time to read any more.

Facebook:

Angela Skurtu LMFT, M. Ed, AASECT Certified Sex Therapist

Joshua Skurtu

 

 

  

 

 You walk into the frozen custard shop and are immediately overwhelmed by the choices. There is cherry chocolate chunk. There is cherry chunky mocha. There is mocha frappe and also plain old strawberry and vanilla. But who chooses vanilla? That would be madness. Instead, you have to find a way to sort through the seventy-five taste-bud exploding flavors. 

There is no real organization of the flavors, but to make a clear decision you must somehow organize them in your head. So you sort them. Flavors with chocolate. You like chocolate, so you decide to look at those flavors. They have chocolate fudge chunk, or german chocolate, or maybe even just plain old chocolate. But that's beside the point, because you just noticed a vanilla gummy bear flavor. Who puts gummy bears in their ice cream? Doesn't that make the gummy bears hard and less, well, gummy? It kind of defeats the purpose of the candy, because part of the joy of the gummy bear is the texture itself. Its texture changes when exposed to extreme temperatures. At higher temperatures, the gummy bears melt, and at lower temperatures the gummy bears harden.

Such a mad, mad world we live in.

Why were you here again and why is that person staring at you while holding a tiny pink spoon?

Oh, that's right. Josh was desperately trying to create a metaphor that could let an audience relate to what it feels like to know absolutely nothing about childbirth and being thrust into a medical system built to extract your child from you or your partner's womb. You can walk into a hospital one day and come out with a child the next. Really, they just let you take them home. You do not know what decisions to make at the hospital. You do not know what your rights are. You do not even know if they have seventy-five flavors of frozen yogurt at this hospital. This could be a problem.

Luckily there are people like Jen Jester called "Doulas". They educate and advocate and oh so much more for their clients while they are preparing for and going through the process of childbirth.

About our Guest:

 

Jen Jester of Birth Wisely Doula Services – and in the near future, midwifery services!

Jen Jester is an experienced doula that has served over 300 St. Louis families over the last 13 years. Jen is currently finishing her Bachelor of Science in Midwifery, and hopes to earn her Certified Professional Midwife credential early next year. Previously, she served families as a certified childbirth educator for 6 years. Jen understands that few experiences can be as empowering and rewarding as realizing your body's full potential to bring life into the world. Jen’s clients receive customized care, and are encouraged to make informed decisions based upon their unique labor experience in the hospital, birth center, or home. Jen believes that a birthing family, during the preparation for and process of giving birth, deserve emotional and physical support, guidance, choice, advocacy, and respect.

 

About Us:

Angela Skurtu is a licensed marriage and family therapist and an AASECT certified sex therapist. She is a published author, with her second book releasing in February.

We are now livestreaming episodes on youtube a week before the podcast episodes come out. If you just can't wait to listen, the livestream goes out a week before the podcast releases. Check us out at our new YouTube Channel.

Visit us at: www.aboutsexpodcast.com

Get marriage therapy and sex therapy in the St Louis area with Angela Skurtu LMFT M.Ed, a Licensed Marriage and Sex therapist at: www.therapistinstlouis.com

Also, we have facebooks and twitters and all that stuff, but if you read this far i seriously doubt you have time to read any more.

Facebook:

Angela Skurtu LMFT, M. Ed, AASECT Certified Sex Therapist

Joshua Skurtu

 

Get marriage therapy and sex therapy in the St Louis area with Angela Skurtu LMFT M.Ed, a Licensed Marriage and Sex therapist at: www.therapistinstlouis.com

Also, we have facebooks and twitters and all that stuff, but if you read this far i seriously doubt you have time to read any more.

Facebook:

Angela Skurtu LMFT, M. Ed, AASECT Certified Sex Therapist

Joshua Skurtu

Imagine if you will, a world in which you wake up and find yourself in the body of the opposite sex. You were born a man, and have always felt a man, but you now find yourself equipped with a different set of parts. Instead of hard lines and muscles, you have soft curves and breasts. Instead of male genetalia, you now have female genetalia. This would throw most people off of their game. You would feel like you are living in someone else's skin. You would maybe even feel you own body to be something alien to you.

 

Transgendered people deal with this every day, and the distress it causes is called gender dysphoria. Our anonymous guest today, Sara, was born male, but identifies as a woman. Join us to hear her story and learn with us.

 

About Us:

Angela Skurtu is a licensed marriage and family therapist and an AASECT certified sex therapist. She is a published author, with her second book releasing in February.

We are now livestreaming episodes on youtube a week before the podcast episodes come out. If you just can't wait to listen, the livestream goes out a week before the podcast releases. Check us out at our new YouTube Channel.

Visit us at: www.aboutsexpodcast.com

Get marriage therapy and sex therapy in the St Louis area with Angela Skurtu LMFT M.Ed, a Licensed Marriage and Sex therapist at: www.therapistinstlouis.com

Also, we have facebooks and twitters and all that stuff, but if you read this far i seriously doubt you have time to read any more.

Facebook:

Angela Skurtu LMFT, M. Ed, AASECT Certified Sex Therapist

Joshua Skurtu

A man can only be measured by his works, be they art, education, service to others, or hard labor in the sun. I think you can also use a ruler, tape measure, or even use a bathtub full to the brim of water. You see, when you then add the man to the water, you can catch that water and then measure the volume of the water displaced, which is the same as his volume. It's so simple! You couldn't probably measure a man with a barometer, but I know you can measure temperature as well.

Either way our guest this week is a hard working man. He is the self described "Hardest working man in Ho business", "The Do You Guru", a co-founder of Sex Positive STL, and the "HNIC" at Planet Wraith. I forgot to ask what "HNIC" meant, but I assume it means he's in charge. He actually had to pass the "Hardest working" title to someone else more recently, but I think he can reclaim that title if they wrestle or something. I'm not sure how it works, exactly. It was great meeting him and we hope you enjoy the episode.

-Josh and Angela Skurtu

 

About our guest:

David Wraith is a street walking cheetah with a heart full of napalm, he is "The Do You Guru," and "The Hardest Working Man in Ho Business." He is co-founder of Sex Positive St. Louis and the HNIC at Planet Wraith 

 

• Website URL davidwraith.com, sexstl.com, 
• Blog URL davidwraith.com
• Facebook URL https://www.facebook.com/planetwraith/,
•  https://www.facebook.com/davidwraith
• Twitter Name @davidwraith

 

About us:

We are now livestreaming episodes on youtube a week before the podcast episodes come out. If you just can't wait to listen, check us out at our new YouTube Channel.

Visit us at: www.aboutsexpodcast.com

Get marriage therapy and sex therapy in the St Louis area with Angela Skurtu LMFT M.Ed, a Licensed Marriage and Sex therapist. You can talk to her about sex or other therapy needs at: www.therapistinstlouis.com

Also, we have facebooks and twitters and all that crap, but if you read this far i seriously doubt you have time to read any more.

Facebook:

Angela Skurtu LMFT, M. Ed, AASECT Certified Sex Therapist

Joshua Skurtu