Sex Addiction isn't real. Sex is real. Porn is real. Some other words that are real include diversity, fetus, vulnerable, science-based, evidence-based, entitlement, and transgender. Yes, transgendered people are real. This week it seems the Trump administration decided that these seven words don’t exist and should not be used by the CDC. Whether or not this ban is real, political leaders have been doing this as long as we have had scientific research.

Misinformation about reality, or the censoring of reality, can be harmful. Myths about sex can make it difficult for people to feel normal in their sexuality. If they are told that their biological urges are sinful or weird, they can feel a split between sex and themselves. They can see sex as something outside the normal human experience or even outside of their own control. If we as humans label something as uncontrollable, then we may fail to even try to have control over it.

Sex addiction is not a real addiction listed in the most recent edition of the DSM, the bible of mental health diagnosis. These individual’s struggles are a failure of logic brought on by shameful views of their own thoughts, feelings, and beliefs. People who self-label as sex addicts have the same amount of sex as people who do not. People who claim to have this addiction feel the need to hold themselves to a standard beyond the normal human condition. They feel amorous, they feel love, they feel horny, and yet they deny these feelings and push them down to hide and deny their own sexuality. They not only feel uncomfortable just talking about sex in a social setting, but can sometimes feel uncomfortable even discussing these topics with their sexual partners. They can literally be having sex with their partner and feel super uncomfortable just discussing birth control and condom usage.

Our guest today is clinical psychologist Dr. David J. Ley, Ph.D. and the author of the books Ethical Porn for Dicks: A Man’s Guide to Responsible Viewing Pleasure, The Myth of Sex Addiction and Insatiable Wives. I also just found out he has a black belt in Brazilian Jiu Jitsu. What the hell? That's awesome. To me, he sounds like the Jason Bourne of the clinical psychology world, saving people from myths and misinformation about sex and relationships. Our discussion with him covers the myths of sex addiction, porn, the CDC’s list of banned words, and so much more.

 

David J. Ley PhD (@DrDavidLey) on Twitter

About Us:

Angela Skurtu is a licensed marriage and family therapist and an AASECT certified sex therapist. She is a published author, with her second book releasing in February.

About Sex now livestreams episodes on Facebook a week before the podcast episodes come out. Check us out at our new YouTube Channel. // Visit us at: www.aboutsexpodcast.com // Get marriage therapy and sex therapy in the St Louis area with Angela Skurtu LMFT M.Ed., a Licensed Marriage and Sex therapist at: www.therapistinstlouis.com

Also, we have facebooks and twitters and all that stuff, but if you read this far i seriously doubt you have time to read any more.

Facebook: Angela Skurtu LMFT, M. Ed, AASECT Certified Sex Therapist // Joshua Skurtu

The Republican party decided this year that they are okay with pedophiles representing them in the Senate. Roy Moore lost the race yesterday for the Alabama Senate seat by only 1.5%. Many of the people in Alabama that voted for Moore may see pedophiles as the worst of the worst, but they also see Democrats as somehow an even lower form of human life. Ugh, Democrats. Such a dirty thing. It brings to mind words like liberal, social justice, or *gasp* even diversity and inclusion. What depravity this world hath wrought!

 The sitting President of the United States, Donald Trump, even openly supported this accused pedophile for the Alabama Senate race and directed the Republican National Party to send as much funding his way. He wanted to ensure as much as he could that this accused pedophile made it into office, no matter how many children were destroyed in Moore’s wake.

Somehow, in our topsy-turvy world, the Republicans see pedophiles as a crucially important demographic that they don’t want to lose. They will do anything and everything within their will to ensure all those pedophiles stick with the Republican party, so that they don’t to lose those sweet, sweet pedophile votes to another party.

After we discuss Roy Moore and the wonderful pedophile laden dystopia that is the Republican party’s vision for the future, we have a very special guest on to discuss LGBTQIA+ advocacy. Our guest this week is Jaimie Hilemann, a Trans and LGBTQIA+ advocate and educator.  For those that do not know what all those letters mean, they stand for Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Trans, Queer or Questioning, Intersex, Asexual, and plus. The plus is a way to leave it open for inclusion of people that do not fall into these categories. We discuss education, myths about trans people, transitioning, and non-pliments (Compliments that can be insulting or off-putting).

We learned a lot about transgendered individuals and hope you can join us for this week’s episode.

About Our Guest:

Jaimie Hilemann

After 24 years in the corporate world, from key account sales, sales training, to
sales- management, Jaimie felt the need as a Trans woman to advocate and speak
out for Trans and LGBTQIA+ issues. First volunteering with MTUG (Metro
Trans Umbrella Group), in St. Louis, she eventually became Board President and
still collaborates with MTUG today.
Aware of rapidly changing needs in the Trans community, she began consulting
as a Trans Cultural Competency Educator, including educational and training
consulting under contract with DAP (Diversity Awareness Partnership).
Realizing the need for full-time Trans and LGBTQIA+ focused advocacy, Jaimie
formally founded the Trans Education Service LLC of St. Louis (TES LLC STL)
in order to expand opportunities to educate regarding issues critical to the
community. TES is both a Trans and LGBTQIA+ cultural competency
educational and training consultancy, and a consulting partner for diversity and
inclusion policy, planning and implementation.
Jaimie is a member of WPATH, with GEI (Global Education Initiative), training,
and also a professional member of AASECT, the American Association of
Sexuality Educators, Counselors, and Therapists.

About Us:

Angela Skurtu is a licensed marriage and family therapist and an AASECT certified sex therapist. She is a published author, with her second book releasing in February.

About Sex now livestreams episodes on Facebook a week before the podcast episodes come out. Check us out at our new YouTube Channel. // Visit us at: www.aboutsexpodcast.com // Get marriage therapy and sex therapy in the St Louis area with Angela Skurtu LMFT M.Ed., a Licensed Marriage and Sex therapist at: www.therapistinstlouis.com

Also, we have facebooks and twitters and all that stuff, but if you read this far i seriously doubt you have time to read any more.

Facebook: Angela Skurtu LMFT, M. Ed, AASECT Certified Sex Therapist // Joshua Skurtu

I’m going to lay down some truth here, people. Listen closely, especially the fellas. In your life, you may find yourself in a position of power or in a situation where someone is vulnerable to your actions. When you find yourself in this position, it’s important that you remember to do one thing: Don’t rape people. I know it’s easy to forget. We live busy lives, working long hours, spending time with family, and wasting so much more time bingeing Netflix episodes of Stranger Things, or spending hours and hours refreshing our Facebook feeds, hoping to get ahold of some of those juicy thumbs up. Or is it up thumbs? But among this busy life, you must find it in you to push through those urges to rape, coerce, or exploit vulnerable individuals into sexual situations. The damage you can do to another individual in such a situation can be life altering.

Recently, many prominent men in positions of celebrity or political power, including comedians such Louis C.K. and Al Franken, have been accused by large swathes of women of sexual misconduct and sexual assault. Just today, Al Franken announced his resignation from the Senate amid these sexual allegations. Come on, guys! It is important to know when you are in a position of power so that you may be more vigilant to not exploit that power. Many professions, such as prison guards, police, and medical professionals understand how much power they have over the individuals they work with and serve, and because of this knowledge they have codes of ethics and rules in their professions that give them guidelines on how NOT to exploit those individuals. Yes, we have to tell these professionals not to do it. We had to make it a rule for a reason.

Comedians have very few rules of the trade and many comedians are notorious for being rulebreakers when it comes to drugs and other taboo topics, but on this topic, they need to stand up and find it in their hearts to not rape people. They also should probably not kill people as well. No one likes to die. Which brings us to this week’s main topic: Death! While we do talk about the sexual misconduct of celebrities this episode, the main topic is about death from a legal standpoint and estate planning. Our guest Martha Burhardt, a lawyer, not only explains what a trust is, but she also shares some insight on how she deals with the taboo topic of death with her clients. 

Next week, Dr. David J. Ley Ph.D. will be joining us to discuss the myth of sex addiction and Ethical Porn for Dicks. We're pretty excited to have him join us. He is a clinical psychologist and has been featured on Dr. Phil

As an aside, this is actually our sixtieth episode. We have been doing this podcast for over a year now. We have enjoyed having so many amazing guests and we look forward to having many more in the future. After next week's episode, we will be taking a break to rest and relax and enjoy the holidays. We hope to see you next week and again in the new year, 2018.

 

About Our Guest:

Martha Burkhardt - Burkhardt Law Firm - www.burkhardtlaw.com/blog

Martha graduated from Dominican University and University of Missouri-
Columbia School of Law. Post-graduation she proceeded to a position
with Pension and Retirement Services. During that time she realized that
many families and individuals need help understanding their estate
planning options and how they may impact the family’s future. Her goal
has become to fill the gap in knowledge that nearly all families find
intimidating and confusing so that they may protect their future.

About Us:

Angela Skurtu is a licensed marriage and family therapist and an AASECT certified sex therapist. She is a published author, with her second book releasing in February.

About Sex now livestreams episodes on YouTube a week before the podcast episodes come out. If you just can't wait to listen, the livestream goes out a week before the podcast releases. Check us out at our new YouTube Channel. // Visit us at: www.aboutsexpodcast.com // Get marriage therapy and sex therapy in the St Louis area with Angela Skurtu LMFT M.Ed., a Licensed Marriage and Sex therapist at: www.therapistinstlouis.com

Also, we have facebooks and twitters and all that stuff, but if you read this far i seriously doubt you have time to read any more.

Facebook: Angela Skurtu LMFT, M. Ed, AASECT Certified Sex Therapist // Joshua Skurtu

Sex Education brings up fond memories for most of us. Long days of sitting in class, staring down the barrel of the copious photos of mangled and infected genitals. Countless hours of practicing how to avoid talking to girls by staring at our feet. An endless journey of blushing and uncomfortable giggles every time your instructor says "penis". Ahh, memories...

What could make that even better? Maybe Cheeze-It's induced shame after spitting mouthfulls of crackers into a cup of water as a metaphor for unprotected sex... Wait, what? Did they really pass a cup around and have the students all spit into? You just have to listen to learn more about religious groups like Thrive that teach for "Free" in public schools. Our guest Sally Hunt has all the details. 

About our Guest:

Sally Hunt is a sex-positive activist and organizer who advocates for public school sex ed based in unbiased medical facts. Sally founded the political action committee and the Facebook group, Expose Thrive, designed to raise awareness about and fight against Thrive. Expose Thrive was founded in January, and they have successfully gotten Thrive “Best Choice” removed from 13 public school districts since then. There are 7 more to go. Sally speaks out about the need for a sex-positive revolution, so we can end the shame, judgment, and fear associated with sex and sexuality.

Thrive "Best Choice" Slides

• Website: exposethrive.com
• Facebook: facebook.com/exposethrive, facebook.com/sexpositiverevolution
• Twitter Name: sallybhunt

About us:

We are now livestreaming episodes on youtube a week before the podcast episodes come out. If you just can't wait to listen, check us out at our new YouTube Channel.

Visit us at: www.aboutsexpodcast.com

Get marriage therapy and sex therapy in the St Louis area with Angela Skurtu LMFT M.Ed, a Licensed Marriage and Sex therapist. You can talk to her about sex or other therapy needs at: www.therapistinstlouis.com

Also, we have facebooks and twitters and all that stuff, but if you read this far i seriously doubt you have time to read any more.

Facebook:

Angela Skurtu LMFT, M. Ed, AASECT Certified Sex Therapist

Joshua Skurtu

A man can only be measured by his works, be they art, education, service to others, or hard labor in the sun. I think you can also use a ruler, tape measure, or even use a bathtub full to the brim of water. You see, when you then add the man to the water, you can catch that water and then measure the volume of the water displaced, which is the same as his volume. It's so simple! You couldn't probably measure a man with a barometer, but I know you can measure temperature as well.

Either way our guest this week is a hard working man. He is the self described "Hardest working man in Ho business", "The Do You Guru", a co-founder of Sex Positive STL, and the "HNIC" at Planet Wraith. I forgot to ask what "HNIC" meant, but I assume it means he's in charge. He actually had to pass the "Hardest working" title to someone else more recently, but I think he can reclaim that title if they wrestle or something. I'm not sure how it works, exactly. It was great meeting him and we hope you enjoy the episode.

-Josh and Angela Skurtu

About our guest:

David Wraith is a street walking cheetah with a heart full of napalm, he is "The Do You Guru," and "The Hardest Working Man in Ho Business." He is co-founder of Sex Positive St. Louis and the HNIC at Planet Wraith 

• Website URL davidwraith.com, sexstl.com, 
• Blog URL davidwraith.com
• Facebook URL https://www.facebook.com/planetwraith/,
•  https://www.facebook.com/davidwraith
• Twitter Name @davidwraith

About us:

We are now livestreaming episodes on youtube a week before the podcast episodes come out. If you just can't wait to listen, check us out at our new YouTube Channel.

Visit us at: www.aboutsexpodcast.com

Get marriage therapy and sex therapy in the St Louis area with Angela Skurtu LMFT M.Ed, a Licensed Marriage and Sex therapist. You can talk to her about sex or other therapy needs at: www.therapistinstlouis.com

Also, we have facebooks and twitters and all that crap, but if you read this far i seriously doubt you have time to read any more.

Facebook:

Angela Skurtu LMFT, M. Ed, AASECT Certified Sex Therapist

Joshua Skurtu

It's nice to get a massage. You feel relaxed, all the stress melts away, you sometimes fall asleep on the table and they have to poke you with a stick to get you out of there. It can be a euphoric experience with your body releasing endorphins in response to the massage, leaving you dizzy and happy as a clam. Apparently, there are people that offer a "happy ending" after one such massage, which makes for an even happier clam, which involves manual or oral stimulation of the genitals. Huh. You learn something new every day, right? Our guest today performs such work and also has a lot to share about sex education, race, and polyamory.

About out guest:

Chris has chosen to remain anonymous, but we were glad he could share his story with us. He is a sex worker and sex educator and, well, anonymous, so don't ask any more questions!

About us:

We are now livestreaming episodes on youtube a week before the podcast episodes come out. If you just can't wait to listen, check us out at our new YouTube Channel.

Visit us at: www.aboutsexpodcast.com

Get marriage therapy and sex therapy in the St Louis area with Angela Skurtu LMFT M.Ed, a Licensed Marriage and Sex therapist. You can talk to her about sex or other therapy needs at: www.therapistinstlouis.com

Also, we have facebooks and twitters and all that crap, but if you read this far i seriously doubt you have time to read any more.

Facebook:

Angela Skurtu LMFT, M. Ed, AASECT Certified Sex Therapist

Joshua Skurtu